So I see this guy walking down my street almost every day. He's old. He's big-bellied. He's seriously tan. He wears gym shorts and tube socks and hi-tops. In his hand he carries his shirt and an empty Circle K cup.

I'm dying of curiosity to know where he goes, but am too chicken to pull over my car and ask him. (Only brave enough to pull over and take a picture with my phone.) So please, friends and readers, help me speculate.

Jacob's Little One

When Jacob first met me, he thought I was Mr. Serious. Up until our first date, when he realized his first impression was very, very wrong.

Yesterday we were hanging out in the church library. Jacob and I were asked to man the counters every Sunday and some Wednesdays. This is the easiest church job I have ever had, and Jacob and I love being in there together. Most of the time, people just come in to borrow pictures/visual aids, get chalk and erasers, or make copies. Most of the time, Jacob and I just hang out behind the counter, waiting for customers.

So yesterday I was feeling a little silly. And a little tired. And I decided I'd let Jacob help the next customer on his own. Of course, we didn't actually have any customers, so no big deal. I ducked behind the counter for 5 seconds. But just as I was about to stand back up, I heard someone come in! A lady! So I had a decision to make: stand up and act like nothing happened, or stay in squatty position. I stayed squatty.

Geez, that lady took forever, making her copies! Lady asked Jacob how many copies he thought she'd need. Jacob gave his professional opinion. Oh, and Lady thought she'd return something her sister borrowed earlier. Jacob said thanks. Then I heard this...

Lady: So, do you have a little one back behind the counter?
Jacob: (pause) No.
Lady: Oh... I thought there was someone back there. Never mind.
Jacob: (pause) That's okay.

Did she see the top of my head? Hear movement? I don't know. And Jacob answered NO! He should have just said yes so this Lady could think I was a little kid instead of a full-grown adult playing hide-and-seek.

You'd better believe I stood up and behaved myself, just as soon as Lady was out the door. And thank goodness I did, because a minute later a dude came in to use our paper cutter. The paper cutter that is kept at the back wall, right where I was hiding. And getting caught hiding back there by Dude- that would have been even more embarrassing that almost getting caught by Lady.

If these pictures don't say true love, I don't know what does!

Arranged Marriage

I've really been resisting blogging for the past week and a half. Because I don't want you to judge me. I don't want to be labelled one of "those people."

You know. Cat people.

Because, ladies and gentlemen, Jacob and I have adopted another cat. We planned to bring Eddie into our family, but this latest addition came quite on accident.

Two weeks ago Jacob went to the pet store to buy some cat food, and as tradition dictates, he walked down the aisle of cats up for adoption. When I got home, he told me he saw the girl version of Eddie. Except smaller. He talked about her all weekend long. How she looked just like Ed and would be the perfect wife for him. We even gave her a name - Miss Kitty. And a few days later, we went back to the store to visit her.

Now, I really wasn't ready for another cat. Eddie has so much personality on his own that I thought he was enough for me. But, when we went to the store and saw Miss Kitty, my heart got all soft and smooshy. She had been someone's pet, but they moved away and left her behind. She had just had a litter of 5 kittens, even though she's kitten-sized herself. When I picked her up, she was all backbone and rib cage. Poor little lady! But like I said, I didn't want another cat, and Jacob and I went home empty-handed.

And then went back the next day and adopted her. I just couldn't stand the thought that she didn't have a home and that she would be put to sleep if no one adopted her. And so Miss Kitty became part of the family. She's been officially named Iris and she's the sweetest little kitten on the planet.

This has not been an easy week, since we brought her home. Poor Ed is flipping out. He's been an only child for a year now, and he's not in love with the idea of sharing his food and toys with someone else. We kept Iris under lockdown (for her own protection!) for the first few days but we're gradually letting them spend some time together. Ed likes to run and jump at Iris and try to get a reaction out of her. Most of the time she stares him down and doesn't move a muscle. If she does react, it's to stand up and turn her back to him. But I have faith that things will work out between the two of them.

So there you go. Jacob and I are cat people.

(Ed is on the near side, Iris is on the far side. Can you see her behind the gate?)

Spectacle

So, my sunglasses broke last week. Thank goodness they lasted me through Mexico, but they broke two days after my return. The frames cracked and the right lens popped out. Non fixable. Well, probably fixable, but I'm too classy to glue my glasses back together. So, time to buy a new pair.

Am I the only person who has problems with sunglasses? I always have such a hard time picking out a pair that fits my face. Big lenses make me look buggy. Anything too trendy and I feel 12 years old. Don't like orange tint. The cutest pair I ever owned were so uncomfortable that I had to stop wearing them. I felt like they were squeezing my brains out.

I went to Target to buy a new pair. It took me 30 minutes to try on every pair that I thought might work. Three other lucky women came, found a winning pair, and left, before I had found something decent. I finally got frustrated and decided to just buy the first pair I didn't hate. With little thought, I threw a pair in the cart, finished shopping, checked out, and left the store.

Sitting in my car, looking through my bag, I realized that I did not have my new sunglasses. I thought back to the items I checked out with: bathroom cleaner, chap stick, thank you card... No sunglasses. I realized I didn't pay for them, and they were still in the cart, in the store. I almost, almost gave up and drove away. Then I looked at my stupid, sad, lens-less sunglasses and decided that I simply could not drive away without a new pair.

Went back into Target and bought my new pair. I knew they were not extra cute. Just passing as not ugly. I put my new shades on and realized, irony of ironies, they were identical to my old pair. And now I realize I had almost-ugly sunglasses all along.

With any luck, this pair will break soon too. And I can start the whole painful process all over again.

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